


The letter

by SamanthaEvergreen



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:22:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaEvergreen/pseuds/SamanthaEvergreen
Summary: When Billy gets a letter in the mail from his mother the possibility of what could have happened to him that summer of 1985 could have been much different.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	The letter

This takes place shortly before season 3 and is kinda a spin off of my other fanfic the in-between with some of it being taken from it. But you don't have to read it to understand this story. …..But if you want to read it anyway I won't complain. :D Enjoy your reading.

May 15th

1985

Billy let the warmth of the spring sun hit his face, warming him and the car as he pushed the gas pedal down as far as it would go as he sped down the dirt road. The only thing around him were fields of wheat, corn, and potatoes. Like always there was the smell of farm animals that he never got used too, even now after over a year in this shit hole he had to call home.

He yanked on the wheel then turning hard to the right. His world turned into dust for a moment and he could see nothing in front of him. The motion of the car matching his heart beat, fast and unsteady, the blood racing to his hand as he felt himself go faster and faster. He let out a dark laugh as he turned his car straight again watching as the speedometer maxed out, hitting 240.

The dust cleared a moment and as he looked ahead at the landscape of the outskirts of indiana, at the blue sky bright above him, not a cloud in the spring sky as he eyed his target ahead. He felt himself smile as he slammed down on the breaks. His body was sent flying forward a moment as the car slid forward for a good second before it came to a full stop, more dust rising up around him.

He breathed in and out for a long moment as he looked at his hands, they were shaking a bit from what he had just done, what could have just happened.

Billy looked back up to see a large oak tree sitting not even inches away from his car. He linked his dry lips and tested blood. With the back of his hand he wiped at his lip and found yes it was blooding. He must have hit his lip on the wheel, though he had no real memory of it, only that it hurt dimy but still the smile didn't fall.

He had been doing this for the past two months, wondering if it would be the last each time. If he would be satisfied with the feeling of being uncontrolled, the feeling of self-awareness that he was a live, he was here. Sometimes he almost felt at peace, almost transcendent. Or maybe it would end in him wrapped around the base of that old oak. But every day he came back and did it again, no one knowing where he went or what he was doing. That he was playing Russian roulette with himself.

Billy took one last deep breath and let it out slowly before he put the car in reverse and started to back away from the tree, away from the one place he wasn't afraid of what waited for him at home. As he drove he turned on the radio, the song Owner of a Lonely Heart by Yes playing through his car, as the wind whipped at his hair. He actually hadn't heard this song much, meaning he wasn't tired of it yet.

"Move yourself

You always live your life

Never thinking of the future

Prove yourself

You are the move you make

Take your chances, win or loser

See yourself

You are the steps you take

You and you, and that's the only way

Shake, shake yourself

You're every move you make

So the story goes

Owner of a lonely heart."

He tapped his fingers to the beat as he turned back into town from the fifteen minute drive, though he had a feeling it wouldn't be much of a town much longer since the mall opened last week. He took the five minutes it took to drive back home as slow as he could, but finally he pulled into the driveway to their house, happy to see that no one else was home. He walked in and threw his keys on the tv stand, the clock showed that it was twelve. He had a whole three hours to himself.

He went to the fridge and grabbed a beer before he headed to his room. He went over to his radio and popped open the beer and drank it down within a minute as he turned it on, the rock station loud which meant he could stop thinking for the next hour as he grabbed his 50 pound weights and started his daily exercise route.

He let the mindlessness of the motion of moving his arm up and down, take him way, the dull pain of experiencing the same muscles over and over again relaxing almost. Sweat dropped into the floor from both the heat of the room and his own temperature as the clock hit one.

Billy stood from where he had been doing push ups and put up the weights, before he grabbed the pack of cigarettes that sat on his bedside table and lit one. Taking a deep inhale, he held it in a moment before letting it out. Watching as the smoke disappeared into thin air, something he wanted to do himself at times.

"Bye Max, see you tomorrow."

He looked up and out of his window than to see Max get off her bike as her little friends rode off, all of them caked in dirt and mud.

"Shit," Billy said under his breath as he dashed his cigarette out in the ashtery before he opened his bedroom door and met Max in the kitchen, a trail of muddy footprints followed after her.

"What the hell happened to you? Fall down a well?"

Max made a face at him. "No, we were just showing my friend what an old barn looks like, next to the abandoned steel mill."

"Why in hell would you want to go see an old barn?" Billy asked, actually wanting to know.

"She had never seen one before," Max answered before asking her own question, "What are our parents?"

"They're still out," Billy answered, "And why do call them that, your mother isn't my mom and my dad sure the fuck isn't your father."

"We're still a family, " Max said, a fire burning behind her eyes. One he wished he still had.

"Whatever you say," he said, "Don't forget to clean up your mess. "

"I will," She said as she pushed past him heading towards the bathroom but handed him a letter first.

"What's this?" He asked, looking after her.

"I don't know. It was in the mailbox," Max replied before she closed the bathroom door and he heard the shower turn on.

Billy looked down at the letter a long moment and saw it was from California.

His heart skipped a beat as he hurried back into his room and closed the door.

He sat on his bed and swallowed as he simply held it a longer moment knowing who it was from before he ripped the envelope open. He tipped it over and a folded up letter and seven one-hundred-dollar bills fell into his hand.

Bill felt his eyes go wide as he looked at the money, not believing it for a long second, like this was a sick dream, but as he quickly put the money to the side and opened the letter and read, he knew it wasn't, because he could never have dreamed this up himself.

Billy. My dear lovey Billy. I know it's been a long time, a very long time since we've talked, a long time since we've seen one another. You were in middle school the last time I saw you on your 12th birthday...it was a long time ago now and I'm sorry about that. There are so many things I'm sorry about, too many to write here or I'll be here for another five year and I probably should have to sit here and write every single thing I did wrong to you. But the biggest thing I'm sorry for is leaving you with your father. There is a lot to say and be sorry for, but I will never stop hating myself for that. I was scared and young, so scared. But so were you. I'm your mother and I should have saved you, you should have been the one to get away, not me. I know how angry your father can get and I abandoned you with him alone to face that on your own and I'll understand if you never want to see me again because of that...But if you do, if you can somehow stand to see my face again, you have a place with me. You always will. I got remarried a few years ago and after I started looking for you again, only to find you in hankings. I'm not going to beg you to forgive me because I don't deserve it. But if you found it in yourself too somehow this is my address.

Love you always -Mom.

15 SW. Cobblestone Drive

San Lorenzo, CA 94580

Billy had to read it over and over again, his eyes wet, unsure how many times he had to read it over until it finally hit him what he was reading. A letter from his mother. The one person he always wanted to see, wanted to talk to after a hard say, wanted to have more days with just like when he was a kid and didn't know what kind of shitty world he lived in. And here she was asking him to come and find her finally. To be with her again and get away from this hell. He wouldn't lie, she had hurt him when she left and he knew deep that a small piece always wondered why. Why she had just left him behind, but right now he didn't care.

Billy looked back over at the money and knew it would be enough to get him to California. Hell, he could be there within two days if he left right now. Fuck he could be on a beach by the weekend, in the cool arms of the waves he had loved so much as a kid.

He got up and started to grab his things and throw them into his gym bag, he only needed to begin a few changes of clothing for now, he could get a job easily when he got to California and buy whatever he needed then.

He zipped up the bag and was just about to slide his window open so no one would hear him leave and ask questions when he paused. He couldn't leave. He couldn't do that to Max and her mom. He would be leaving them with a monster just like his own mom had and he thought of what Max would turn into made him throw his bag back on the bed. Billy knew what he had been made into because of that man, he was an asshole, someone who wanted to watch others hurt because he was hurting.

When he had first met Max at the age of fourteen and she only ten he had seen that she liked to believe she was strong. But when you were the punching bag both verbally and physically being strong met something else and she wouldn't handle it like he had, letting the punches land, knowing that if he tried to fight them it would make everything worse.

"Billy! Get your ass in here right now!"

Billy looked up at his door at the voice that even now always made him scared a little.

He looked outside and saw that his father's car was in the driveway and was home with Susan.

"Damn it," Billy said under his breath and grabbed up the letter and money and hid it behind a few framed photos where he knew no one would look before he stepped out of his room to meet the angry eyes so much like his own.

"What the hell is this mess!" The older man shouted at him.

Billy saw what he was talking about. Max was still in the shower and hadn't had time to clean the floor where the mud still lay now dry in the warmth.

"Sorry sir, I guess I didn't notice it before, I'll clean it up now," Billy said, just wanting to get it over with.

"Damn right you are."

Billy couldn't help the eye roll he did as he turned away to get a kitchen towel meaning he didn't see the hard smack to the back of his head coming a moment later that was so unexpected it caught him off balance and sent him into the wall. He bit into his lip to keep the cry of pain in.

"Don't roll your eyes at me! Got it?!"

Billy once again tasted his own blood but still spoke. "Yes sir, won't happen again."

His father said nothing more as Billy heard him walk past him and into his and Susan's bedroom and slammed the door.

"Billy are you okay?" Susan asked him and when he turned from where he had been looking at the wall saw she was holding out a caring hand to him.

"I'm fine," Billy said, batting her hand away and went into the kitchen and wetted a towel. He wiped the blood from his lip before he got to work on the floor and saw Susan still there. When he met her eyes she mouthed a "Thank you." knowing that this mess wasn't his.

He nodded and a moment later was left to clean the floor to himself and his thoughts. He would be 18 July 1st. His father wouldn't be able to do anything to him after that and as soon as September hit he would be out of here before school started again. Maybe he would even ask Max and Susan to go back to California with him, after all they had hated it when they had first gotten here and he knew his mother would help them. She was that kind of person after all.

But he had to make it to September and sometimes he felt like this world was out to get him, like it had other plans this summer for him. But as long as he wasn't dead he would be out of here, where no one would ever lay another hand on him again.

An

I hope you enjoyed this short story. I honestly love writing this kind of story, where we get to see into the mind of Billy someone we didn't get to know all that well before season 3, before he died. I think it would be a lot of fun to write an AU about him and Max running away together before season 3 but I'm not sure if anyone would want to read that besides me lol.

Ps the address used is fake just in case anyone was wondering.


End file.
